Category: Schrodinger’s Diary
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An Ode To Barkie
Oh deepest of deep joys! Without warning, it became clear that today was my FAVOURITE sports day! Quite unexpectedly, today was Drown A Barkie Day. As ever, I have no idea why hoomama likes drowning her Barkie on a regular basis, but I’m sure it’s just because he’s Stinky.
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Stinky Barkie
In the endless noon of my torturous existence, Hoomama did an evil thing. She brought a Stinkie Barkie into MY house. Worse still, she did not even think to consult with Management first – had she pursued this entirely sensible, wise approach, my brother and I could have guided away from the precipice of such…
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On Being Unfaithful
Today I realised I need to keep a closer eye on my Hoomama, and possibly restrict her freedom a little more than I have been. This is because, last night, I discovered something quite shocking: she was nearly unfaithful to me! I could not believe she would do such a thing. Yesterday, I let her out…
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The Bath
Well, I am SPITTING feathers, hissing in rage, you’ll never BELIEVE what The Human (she no longer qualifies to be referred to as Hoomama after this!) has done this time! It is UTTERLY beyond the pale! This morning, she tried to DROWN me!
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Skirmishes
Well. I promised my loyal fans a fight and that’s exactly what my brother and I have been giving to Hoomama. We will NOT take this unjust captivity lying down! Well…..we might lie down…for a while….because we ARE cats…but we WILL RISE AGAIN! (After a quick bath). We WILL RESIST!
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The Battle
As my loyal followers will know, I am not a cat who gives up lightly and I am not about to take this indignity without protest. Sadly, as of writing, the Catio-abomination remains in my garden and only one person has replied to my advert for a new hoomama. She arrived bearing a packet of…
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House Arrest
I, Schrodinger, have reluctantly come to the conclusion that it is time to advertise for a new Hoomun to take over the role of serving me and meeting my every need.
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Ode To Curtains
The scene opens in darkness as Schrodinger is contentedly surveying his work. He sits, quill pen in paw, attempting to compose a poem. Hoomum continues to snore in the background. “Roses are red, violets are blue, oh my dear curtains, how I have missed you….” If the quality of his poetry leaves something to be…
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Hangcat’s Noose
Well….Well….WELL!!! Just when I thought Hoomun couldn’t POSSIBLY sink any lower in her treatment of us, she’s managed it! She really has! It is utterly extraordinary and so totally far beyond anything that could be considered acceptable that she’s REALLY gone and done it now. Schrodinger is so angry, he’s spitting feathers. Although, to be…
Schrodinger's Diary 