Today I realised I need to keep a closer eye on my Hoomama, and possibly restrict her freedom a little more than I have been.  This is because, last night, I discovered something quite shocking: she was nearly unfaithful to me! I could not believe she would do such a thing.

Yesterday, I let her out of my house so she could get some exercise. She told me she was going to the hoomun vet’s (why she would want to do this, I do not know) and that she would be gone for a while as it was a long drive from my house.  Of course I was concerned, but I allowed her to do this and decided to catch up on my rest while she was out.

As I expected, she was gone for fourteen furrevers and when she came back, I swear she had a guilty look on her face.  When she was not looking, I visited her light box to check what she had been up to (because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that Hoomama ALWAYS uses her light box to show me where she has been).

To my shock and horror, I discovered an image of a den of iniquity.  A place where hoomun’s can be unfaithful to the loyal and long suffering cats who guide them through the storms and trials of life.  A place of sin.

This is the image I found:

Of course I do not know if she actually succumbed to temptation but, being the weak and frail minded human that she is, I must assume hoomama was unfaithful to my brother and I.  Maybe she even had cuddles with other cats.

Such a thing is appalling to consider but I must face up to the possibility.  Clearly, I must keep a much closer eye on her than I have been, so today, this nonsense of “doing her work” clearly cannot proceed and she must instead spend her day worshipping me as she repents of her sins.  I will make gentle biscuits while we renew our lifelong commitment to one another and think carefully on when I allow her out of my house in future. I wonder if a collar and bell would help? I will consider this.