Oh curtains, dear curtains, how I do love thee!

It is a subject of much distress and yes, even grief, that Hoomama now tries valiantly to keep you and I separate. Clearly, the love between us is ever lasting, as you do make the very best toilets in the world. How can I possibly be expected not to love you with an abiding love?

Sometimes, I can do nothing other than just hug you. It is the only way for me to express my affection without the hoomun starting to screech and chase me away from you, the objects of my love.

So curtains, my dear curtains, allow this morning to be just between the two of us and let no one else interfere with our love…

We shall simply sit here and hold one another.