Schrodinger: Ok bro, so here’s the script – are we agreed? We’ll do it just like that? Make sure our fans know we DO NOT beg like dogs, as hoomama so RUDELY put it yesterday, but that in fact, we are a MUCH higher class of cat?

Angus: Bro, does this involve cheese? I like cheese.

Schrodinger: Of course it involves cheese you nitwit. What else does hoomama give us when we stand up and sweetly put out our murder mittens?

Angus: Well, sometimes it’s ham.

Schrodinger: Ok fine, but today it’s cheese. I want cheese. Anyway, are we agreed, this is the script?

Angus: Well maybe bro, let me just read through the script one more time.

Schrodinger sighs and has a quick bath while Angus reads his draft.

THE CHEESE SCRIPT

Schrodinger enters stage right, waving his glorious tail. Angus enters stage left…and well….Angus enters.

Both sing The Song of the People to notify hoomama just how very hungry they are (they don’t make any mention of the breakfast they had half an hour previously) and what VERY GOOD CATS they are.

Hoomama begins to melt and starts to open the cheese packet with a delightful rustle.

Angus: (looking up from the script) Hang on bro, how do you know hoomama is actually going to melt and open the cheese.

Schrodinger: Seriously. Look at this face. I mean LOOK at it. How can hoomama ever possibly resist?

Angus rolls his eyes, quickly washes his whiskers and returns to reading.

Hoomama cuts off those nice cubes of cheese and dangles them above us.

First I, Schrodinger, stand up nicely and gracefully receive my piece of cheese, then it’s your turn for one.

Angus looks up again, “Hang on bro, why do you get first cheese? Why not me? 

Schrodinger: Because I’m writing the script, now shush and keep reading.

Angus returns to the script.

Hoomama repeats this process as we both prettily stand up, collect our cheese and then ask for more. Every single time, hoomama melts and gives us more. Finally, cheese has finished and we have proven we are NOT begging like those morally inferior creatures called Dogs.

Then, we put it to a vote among our fans as follows:
Fans, were we, or were we not, standing up very gracefully, asking politely in our very best mews and then gracefully accepting the gifts that are only our due as cats? All vote now.

Angus finishes reading and looks at his brother with a shrug.

Angus: Ok bro, works for me.

Schrodinger: So, mission is go go?

Angus: Hang on, what’s the mission called?

Schrodinger: Mission Cheese of course. Now, are you in?

Angus: Ok bro, let’s do it.

The cats take their places and prepare to begin the show…