Schrodinger: Dear Diary, Hoomama has been unreasonable again. As soon as the hoochild started to yawn, she shoved ME behind bars – whatever did I do to merit this?

Hoomun: Do we need to go through this again cat?

Cat loftily ignores Hoomun and continues to write.

Schrodinger: So I showed Hoomum what a good cat I am, and with only a minor look of abject suffering, sat down in my litter tray to wait.

Hoomun: Really cat? Not the soft cushion immediately beside it?

Schrodinger: I am MAKING a POINT.

Hoomum: ok cat, you do you.

Schrodinger: Eventually, hoochild and hoomum went to bed and the house fell into darkness.

I watched the clock carefully and waited to put my plan into motion…

2357…
2358….
2359…..

Nearly time! I lashed my tail in excitement….

0000!

MMMMEEEEEEOOOOOWWWWWW!!

I began to sing. The Song of the People is such a vibrant piece, rich in longing and emotion. I sang and I sang and I sang.

Just occasionally, I paused to listen and check….0031….I hear a rustle and a moan….excellent! I am having an effect! I redouble my efforts until I hear Hoomum speaking to hoochild:

Hoomun: baby, do you need the toilet?

A quietly weepy voice comes out of the darkness…

Hoochild: Yes. Very wet!

I hear Hoomum sigh so I return to my song as they both crawl out of bed, lights go on and the routine begins: hoochild is divested of pjs and put into the water box, sleepily Hoomun strips his bed but then, just as I am reaching an emotive crescendo…..

Schrodinger: Hey! Watch where you’re throwing that pile of wet cloth hoomum! It nearly landed on top of my head!

Hoomun: Oops.

Schrodinger: Oops? OOOPS?! Don’t you know I’m in an agony of torture down here hoomum?!

Hoomum remakes hoochild’s bed, washes and dries him before settling him back into bed. Then she stumbles downstairs, throws the laundry into the washer and dares (DARES!) to walk past me without acknowledgment!
Well! I ask you….!!

I redouble my song and finally pushed past her endurance, Hoomum opens the door of the cage, removes me none too gently and, (would you believe this?!) shoves me outside into the frosty night! How unbelievably rude!!

Well of course I immediately jump onto the garage roof and start howling outside the landing window, knowing she’ll give in.

I’m right, after just a few moments and with a quiet burst of words I know she shouldn’t say….the window opens and I jump through it.

Schrodinger: Well finally Hoomum! What took you so long?! I’ll be over here on my big bed, I’ll allow you to join me if you really wish too….