Schrodinger: (Writing with a quill pen just for effect….).

“It is now Day 457 of my eternal captivity……”Hoomun: Cat, stop being such a drama queen, it’s day 4.

Schrodinger: “AS I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted! It is now day 457 of my eternal captivity….”

Hoomun: And besides, it’s not eternal. It’s until you and your furry backside learn to use the litter tray on a consistent basis!

Schrodinger: “DO you MIND?!” Sigh. “Day 457 of my eternal captivity and tonight my brother sat with me in a protest of solidarity. Sadly, he also got bored after five minutes but we won’t go there.

Tonight, I came up with a cunning plan: Once I had been locked into The Cage and the lights turned off, I would scrabble around in my litter tray for a moment to make Hoomum *think* I was using it, and then HEAVE HO! I would turn it upside down so the contents cascaded across my cushion and there was no possible way I could use it.

That will *definitely* show her and she’ll *absolutely* come running.”

Stage Directions: Cat sits in the remains of his litter tray waiting expectantly. Hoomun remains in bed and ignores him. Five hours pass. Cat now, rather urgently, needs to use the litter tray. Cat looks at contents of litter tray spread across his cushion. Bugger.

Schrodinger: “HHHOOOOOOOOMMMMMMUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! I NEED A WEEEEEEEEEEE! HHHHHOOOOOMMMMMUUUUUMMMMMMM!”